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What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know: Advanced Relationship Skills for Better Communication and Lasting Intimacy
Author(s): John Gray
Binding: Hardcover
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.2
EAN: 9780060171629
Edition: 1
ISBN: 0060171626
Label: HarperCollins
Language(s): English Original LanguageEnglish UnknownEnglish Published
List Price: $23.00
Manufacturer: HarperCollins
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 427
Package Dimensions:
Height: 1.6"
Width: 5.4"
Length: 1.6"
Weight: 1.15 lbs.
Product Group: Book
Address: 1994-11-01
Publisher: HarperCollins
Release Date: 1994-09-30
Studio: HarperCollins
Editorial Reviews
Product Description:
In his provocative and important new book, What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know, Gray answers the questions that our parents could not about relating and communicating with the opposite sex. John Gray draws upon his extensive work with singles and couples in his seminars to point us in a new direction. He promises - and delivers - the necessary information for creating and sustaining loving and mutually fulfilling relationships. He offers a new seed that, when planted and watered, will grow into a relationship that is not only loving but lasting. By teaching relationship skills that address contemporary individuals' and couples' needs, John Gray offers practical ways in which to enjoy and celebrate the differences between men and women in peace and with passion.
Customer Reviews Average rating - 4.5
Rating - 5 Date: 2008-09-02
Content: I started Dr. Gray's book series with this title. I found it to be very, very helpful in all of my relationships. Try it.
Summary: A Relationship MUST HAVE
Rating - 5 Date: 2007-11-29
Content: Every thing I read from John Grey was just great. This is no exception.
It is really a must for every one to read it! It teaches you how to interpret a man's behavior vs. a woman's. It is a quick read but gives you a lot of information.
When I began reading the book I was discouraged, my first thought was, does he want to discourage women from working outside home? but I kept on reading and no he doesn't do that... just read it!
Summary: Brilliant
Rating - 4 Date: 2007-02-15
Content: This popular psychology book is aimed at a specific (though large) audience. Per the Jungian Myers-Briggs, there are different psychological types. One difference is Sensate (detail/here & now-oriented) vs. Intuitive (big picture & future-oriented). About ¾ of Americans are Sensate & will probably enjoy Gray's writing--with numerous specific phrases/do's & don'ts to help couples (esp. in 2-income families) relate better & translating psychological terminology into everyday language (e.g. a man's "feminine side" vs. anima). Unfortunately, there's no index for finding a specific situation. He states that couples are unprepared for recent changes in marital "job descriptions"--old assumptions don't work anymore. Much of his "advanced relationship skills" are insightful & useful: rather than blaming a man for not doing a task, "ask repeatedly as if it were the 1st time, "When a woman is emotional, any attempt on a man's part to explain the correctness of his point of view is taken as invalidation," role reversal, & re-parenting yourself. The author primarily depicts interactions with his wife (thus, no bibliography). Intuitives may find this book very repetitious (which the author explicitly admits) & might prefer Deborah Tannen's books on inter-gender communications (i.e. "That's Not What I Meant" & "You Just Don't Understand").
The Myers-Briggs also differentiates Thinkers/Feelers--Americans are 50:50, but ~2/3 of men are Thinkers & 2/3 of women are Feelers. People often confound this with gender differences. The author seems to assume the Normal case: male Thinker/female Feeler--explicitly stating that his observations don't apply to everyone. I suggest you consider Myers-Briggs types: for a Feeler man & Thinker woman, the book might still work--in reverse; if both man & woman are the same type, it will need adjustment to work. I suggest that you are neither your thoughts nor your feelings--you just have them. Gray's approach is rational, aimed at conscious efforts rather than unconscious psychological processes (e.g. complexes & archetypes--see Jean Bolen's "Goddesses in Every Woman" & "God's in Every Man"--some women identify with Mother vs. Wife archetype. Also, Moir & Jessel's "Brain Sex" discusses physiological gender differences in the brain. Gray employs traditional (anti-feminist) stereotypes but is quite idealistic: p. 424 "No one in their heart of hearts really wants to withhold & punish"--vs. M. Scott Peck's "People of the Lie." Some may find Gray a bit contrived: ~a co-worker of mine set clocks 5 minutes ahead to improve punctuality which just wouldn't work for me. Since this book could help most readers, I'm compromising on its score.
Summary: Advice for normal couples
Rating - 1 Date: 2006-02-01
Content: I found this in a Colfax gutter, roaming around at 1 AM... God is it awful... It may be useful if your the sort who enjoys "Everybody Loves Raymond", and models your behavior after that buisness, but if your a resonable person, this little text is absurd. It makes Tennseee Williams' charecters seem like well adjusted adults... Go buy a Leonard Cohen album instead... Useful only if your striving to live a midling existence, or land your self on that Dr. Phil degenerate's show.
Summary: The Horror
Rating - 4 Date: 2003-12-10
Content: I am responding to the very negative review on this website - written by a man.- He seemed to think it would be only useful for women!! My husband is reading this book (from our local libary) and is so impressed with it that he asked me to get into your web site and purchase a copy! I am amazed at how it is helping him to understand himself and, after nearly 40 years of marriage he is now able to understand how to communicate more effectively with me.
Summary: This IS for men as well!!
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